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Tomorrow morning, we start on the craziest journey I have ever been to - a roadtrip spanning more than 2700 miles and 4 states to cover in 4 days (We will be driving more than 1000 kms every day for 4 days). We are not sure about weather conditions, snow conditions on roads, we don’t have a AWD/4WD car and yet, we are ready to go.
I haven’t even slept a bit in last 3 nights. Wild thoughts, fear, tension, nightmare - I have got it all. Anything but sleep. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of night expecting someone is there in the other room. The other night I went to the bathroom, shut the bathroom door tight like I never do, like I would do if there was a person in the other room. It was only after a while I realized that I live alone here. Yesterday night, I woke up to find the dishwasher running and was wondering who could have started it. It took me couple of minutes to recollect that it was me.
I am not sure what exactly is happening, but at this rate, I will probably go insane. And that’s even more reason to go on this crazy road trip, to shake my mind off these preoccupations, to steer things up. And that’s all the more reason that I am not afraid of the risks I am taking. As I do not think the worst could be worse than the current condition.
Think I am a sucker for sweet words. It’s not even two complete days that I know you and yet you gave me the feeling that we know each other forever :)
A sad feeling creeps in. Worse, I don’t know what for.